Purging Thursday, Jan 10 2008

It feels so good to purge your belongings. For me, it’s not just about more closet space, but it’s a cleansing ritual that begins with Chaos and ends with Order. With each item, I am deciding my Destiny. Am I the kind of woman who owns this? Who wears this? Who cares about this? After relocating twelve times in the past 4 years, it has become basic routine to cut down and cut back, then cut out. I was going to move to New York. I was going to be decidedly Poor and decidedly Happy. Now I am back in the trap of Midwest Materialism and I buy t-shirts instead of seeing Broadway plays. My mind strives for Simplicity but fails to find it in the midst of this constant disarray. I vow that with this change of locations will also come a change of Lifestyle. More Creation. Better Nutrition. Stronger Conviction.  

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Economics and Wine Tuesday, May 1 2007

I cannot think of a better combination than economics and wine. Except, perhaps, economics and a fine scotch, because as we all know, “the world’s problems are not solved over white wine.”

In other news, my incredible apartment building offered free pizza and soda in the lobby today in honor of finals week and the million students that live here. They offered massages too, but I didn’t capitalize on that because the masseur was kind of creepy and hello! I do have a boyfriend who I can guilt into doing that for me. I certainly won’t encounter generous landlords like this in New York, which brings me to my next point…

Will someone please, for the love of Zeus, calm my fears about finding work and an apartment in NYC? I’m getting a lot of negative energy from my “friends” who tend to agree that I’ll never be able to pull off the New York thing. But don’t people randomly move to New York all the time? And aren’t those people happy and totally in love with New York and everything works out for them? The answer, I have decided, is yes to both questions. Please pass the memo on to my friends.

Cool about the free pizza and my current glass of wine though.

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My (Future) Life in New York Monday, Apr 30 2007

I imagine my New York life to be much simpler than my current life. I imagine that instead of having 3 body washes to choose from in my shower, I use just one bar of freshly scented soap. And I don’t have bottles and bottles of lotion to fit my moods – I have one bottle that I use until the very very end and when I can’t get even one more dollop out of it, I make a big deal about buying more. I stick to one perfume – my signature aroma – and one hairspray.

I don’t waste a lot of money on cabs or even the subway, because I walk most places I go, making me not only more aware of my surroundings but also healthy and lovely. When I go out, I order one drink (the night’s special), saving me from going broke and from a vicious headache the following morning. When I meet a friend at a coffee shop, I order a chi, because it’s one word and a “non-fat orange mocha frappuccino” sounds much too pretentious and complex for my taste.

I don’t have a lot of books to lug around; instead, I have a library card. Likewise, I have only one journal and one pen that I use when my computer isn’t handy. I don’t bother with the postal service, but am dedicated to email. I have streamlined my wardrobe, making room for only a few essential pieces and favorites, all of which fit me well, are appropriate for my age and reflect my personal style.

I have a lot of contacts in my network, but only a handful of friends. My inner circle is chosen carefully, including only people who are kind and interesting.

Yes, my life in New York will be different. Less cluttered. Minimal; unfussy. But better. Much, much better.

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Fuck You, I’m Going East Wednesday, Apr 25 2007

I’m afraid to tell my ex-boyfriend that I’m moving to New York.

Oh, by the way, I’m moving to New York. Kind of.

I have an interview there in a few weeks that I’m flying out for. But regardless of whether or not I get the job, I’m still moving out there permanently by the end of May. “Out there” to me means “the east coast” but translates to “New York” when I tell people but is actually really Connecticut. I’m going to be staying with a friend for a time while I figure out job stuff and how I’m going to pay for an apartment in the city on a tiny salary.

Back to the ex.

He and I were in love and dated for forever and ever and all that sappy jazz. Things didn’t work out when he moved to the west coast after his college graduation. My college graduation was scheduled for a very long two years later. So we broke up and since then the few times a year I talk to him all I hear is lectures on how I need to leave the midwest and branch out on my own, etc. So now that I am, you’d think I’d be chopping at the bit to tell him.

Wrong.

The problem is that I don’t for sure have a job there yet. The problem is that I don’t have a place to call home when I get there, just a friend’s house where I get to pretend for a while. The problem is that I don’t have very much money and I’m kind of winging it. And he’ll ask questions, of course, questions that make me feel stupid even though I think I’m being brave and adventurous.

But uh! I do want to tell him. I want to say, “Oh you went west? Well fuck you ‘cause I’m going east and you should want me back” (even though I don’t want him back) “because I’m amazing.”

It’s a tangled web we weave.

Maybe I’ll just call him when I’m walking down Madison Avenue one lovely afternoon after I’m all settled and happy and tell him he was right, getting out of the midwest was a fabulous idea.

It will be fabulous, right?

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