I learned a lot about manipulation in college, both inside and outside of the classroom. As you can imagine, the art of getting someone to do something you want comes in quite handy.

Social labeling is a technique I learned from Professor Smith, one of my favorite professors. The way it works is simple: you want someone to have a certain characteristic, so when you catch them doing something in that character, you praise them, and they will begin to repeat that behavior.

The reason I bring up this psychological phenomenon is because it happened to me! I know, I’m educated and aware and shouldn’t fall for subtle manipulations, but I did.

I’m not the cleanest person in the world, I admit. Not dirty, you know, just messy; organized chaos, I like to say. So my house has 3 bathrooms but only one of them has a shower, making it the bathroom most frequented by the family. In the past, I was prone to leaving my clothes on the floor after a shower, or my make-up and 3500 hair products on the counter and basically just making a mess of things. But not long after I moved back here, my mom praised me for keeping the bathroom so clean. “We really appreciate it,” she said. I guess I was leaving it a little cleaner, but I wasn’t going out of my way to be super tidy or anything, so the comment took me a bit by surprise. But I graciously accepted it and on I went.

Well, I totally noticed yesterday that I have (subconsciously?) been making extra efforts to keep the bathroom spotless. Because I mean, come on, she told me I was clean and wonderful and I want that to be true! Therefore, she psychologically tricked my brain into having the desire to repeat behaviors.

This sounds crazy, but it really does work. Try it when you catch a normally messy roommate picking up her shoes from the common room (“You have been keeping the apartment so much cleaner, thanks!”) or when your boyfriend does something romantic (“You are so romantic these days! I really appreciate it!”) You have to say something when you catch them in the desired act, by the way, or it doesn’t work. They can’t be sitting on the couch and have you praise them for their increased activity.

Try it at home and comment with the results.

***Note: it might take you repeating the praise a time or two. Also, you can’t just declare someone clean one day and expect that from then on they’ll be immaculate. Give them a little bit to respond. Ok, go!