N.M.B. Tuesday, Apr 29 2008

When I was a junior in college, one of my sorority sisters passed away suddenly. She had a heart problem and one morning she just didn’t wake up. Since that devastating day, every t-shirt, headband, and moving speech coming out of our chapter has included a tribute to her. She was a year younger than I, and this year her peers will graduate. Their senior bar crawl shirts had her initials on the sleeve, of course. But I find myself wondering if her tributes will move on along with the class of 2008. Sure, maybe a thing or two will bear her name next year, as the class of 2009 was initiated while she was still alive. But after them? Soon our Little 500s, our bar crawls, and our fund raisers will not remember her. She will live on with those who knew her, but the chapter will forget.

How do you stop a group from forgetting, when you’re not even sure it’s their duty to remember?

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Rearview Mirror Wednesday, Oct 10 2007

Sometimes I wish college never happened. That there were no memories from those 4 years. Kind of in the same way I wish I’d never been to Europe. If I’d never visited Paris, I wouldn’t think about it, dream about it, remember its smells and sites and feelings. Lately I’ve been missing college in the same way – the feeling of walking into class, the leaves in an Indiana autumn, having coffee with Jordan, staying up all night to write a paper…If all that had never happened, I wouldn’t miss them so much, long for them so much, crave it all so much.

I feel like I’ve lost my two best friends.

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