So I’m supposed to head to Minnesota in like t minus 5 hours but I am just not feeling it. I woke up today about 2 hours earlier than usual – which still isn’t really early, but whatever – and feeling a bit under the weather. I’m sure Zeus is punishing me for something, but I’d take a big ‘ole lightening bolt over this ickyness any day.

I want to have a little TV talk today. First off, I want to declare my undying love for Ross the Intern. You know him from the Tonight Show and more recently Celebrity Fit Club. He’s funny and charming and I want to be his best friend forever. I am totally jealous of Maureen McCormick, who is his bff on Fit Club, even though I can’t be mad because I love her too. (She was on Dr. Phil with her crazy family that made me think, “hey, other families are crazy too!” Thank Zeus for The Doctor.) Pretty much everyone on this season’s Fit Club rocks my world except for Dustin Diamond, who I am tempted to simply refer to as “Screech” because I know he hates that. And I know he has a porn out and everything, but I so do not believe that he is as well-endowed as he claims to be. Even if he is, it wouldn’t do anyone any good because in the end you’re still hooking up with the poor man’s Zack Morris.

Also, The View. Right now I’m watching it and the panel is talking about how tenacious they are and how people have come and gone but the show will remain forever! Sick, how self-important. Whoopi is filling in for Rosie, which is fine, but she doesn’t really fit. And I’m going to be honest with you: I like Rosie. She’s a little far to the left for my taste, but I can definitely appreciate someone who speaks her mind regardless of potential controversy. Rock on, Rosie! We have no business in Iraq! Or, I don’t know, maybe we do, but I think Elisabeth Hasselbeck is a whiney slut so that’s that.

Last thing, I promise: did you watch the Miss Universe pageant last night? I of course did. USA made it in the top 10 and even the top 5 even though she literally fell on her ass during the show. I turned it on when the top 10 was revealed and immediately announced that Japan would win, which she did. The only thing that pisses me off about that show is the question and answer session. They totally don’t answer the questions being asked and if they do, they always lie. Some girl was asked what superpower she would choose and she made up some nonsense about being able to best use her talents to help the world. Complete bullshit. You know she would opt for some x-ray vision so she could check out Mario Lopez in a way that would do him justice.