When I was a junior in college, one of my sorority sisters passed away suddenly. She had a heart problem and one morning she just didn’t wake up. Since that devastating day, every t-shirt, headband, and moving speech coming out of our chapter has included a tribute to her. She was a year younger than I, and this year her peers will graduate. Their senior bar crawl shirts had her initials on the sleeve, of course. But I find myself wondering if her tributes will move on along with the class of 2008. Sure, maybe a thing or two will bear her name next year, as the class of 2009 was initiated while she was still alive. But after them? Soon our Little 500s, our bar crawls, and our fund raisers will not remember her. She will live on with those who knew her, but the chapter will forget.

How do you stop a group from forgetting, when you’re not even sure it’s their duty to remember?

In case you haven’t noticed, my March 2007 post Lisa Simpson is often on my Top Posts list (see left column.) This is because the most common search term used to get to my site is “lisa simpson naked.” So even though this blog is riddled with thoughtful prose, tortured poetry and personal musings, what really matters is seeing cartoons in their birthday suits. I considered being upset in a philosophically profound way, but then I realized that the thought of Lisa Simpson’s ta-ta’s was gaining me readership. So thanks, Lis. One man’s trash is [a great way to get to] another man’s treasure.

“I’ve not as yet found one hobby that would absorb me completely when I’m not working, but I have just bought a new apartment and didn’t quite bargain for the amount of effort and time and money that that absorbs.” - Hugh Dancy

I’m sitting in my new apartment, eating soup and drinking lemonade. Though I’ve been here just a few days, it already feels homey and cozy, mostly because my mother was obsessed with hanging every picture up on the first day. I don’t know what else to report - it’s just like any other place, except that it’s all mine. Two bedrooms, one bathroom, a couch in the living room and candles everywhere.

I am, however, open to decorating ideas. Leave a comment and share any fun decorating idea you’ve come across. I’m counting on you.

it feels really good to cry

by myself

in my own home

without anyone walking in

asking what’s wrong

because it’s good to cry

without definition

It feels so good to purge your belongings. For me, it’s not just about more closet space, but it’s a cleansing ritual that begins with Chaos and ends with Order. With each item, I am deciding my Destiny. Am I the kind of woman who owns this? Who wears this? Who cares about this? After relocating twelve times in the past 4 years, it has become basic routine to cut down and cut back, then cut out. I was going to move to New York. I was going to be decidedly Poor and decidedly Happy. Now I am back in the trap of Midwest Materialism and I buy t-shirts instead of seeing Broadway plays. My mind strives for Simplicity but fails to find it in the midst of this constant disarray. I vow that with this change of locations will also come a change of Lifestyle. More Creation. Better Nutrition. Stronger Conviction.  

“Happiness writes white.”

Sometimes I wish college never happened. That there were no memories from those 4 years. Kind of in the same way I wish I’d never been to Europe. If I’d never visited Paris, I wouldn’t think about it, dream about it, remember its smells and sites and feelings. Lately I’ve been missing college in the same way – the feeling of walking into class, the leaves in an Indiana autumn, having coffee with Jordan, staying up all night to write a paper…If all that had never happened, I wouldn’t miss them so much, long for them so much, crave it all so much.

I feel like I’ve lost my two best friends.